I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
