yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
