The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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