Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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