Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize