plz talk dirty to me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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