She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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