Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
