i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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