i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
