i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
