I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
