dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
