I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
