You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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