We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
