used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dignity is for republicans.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
