i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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