Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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