There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I party with great urgency now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
