I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
