i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
