you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
