covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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