Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
