I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
