well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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