Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
