I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he thought i was a dude.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
