Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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