I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
