p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Text me some of your sweat
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
