You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
