I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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