Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
