I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
