M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
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