Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
