So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
