That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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