I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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