Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
