I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Randomize
