i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
