I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
