come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
