Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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