were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
