My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize