it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
