were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
