They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
This is my gift to your gina
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
