the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
