great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
