yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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