so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize