3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
