exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
