I'm jealous of your bromance
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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