Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
