Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
