I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
