the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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