We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
